As a long-time journalist, I know that the media world is hopelessly slanted toward negative news. But unfortunately, this week's bad news is all real -- and not exaggerated. Greece is melting down, sovereign debt issues plague the globe, and now we have a massive environmental and economic catastrophe in the Gulf of Mexico. Can you cut us a break, boss? Here's a rundown on what's going on on this dreary Monday:

• The Gulf oil spill will probably take months to contain (Washington Post)
• BP says it's ready to pay (Reuters) But it also says it's not to blame... figure that one out.
• Will the spill affect Obama's new "drill, drill, drill" policy?(CNN) That's what Barry gets for pretending to be Ronald Reagan.
• Deepwater Horizon had a history of problems, before the spill (Nola.com)
• Apparently blowout preventers fail frequently... (Kansascity.com)
• On to Greece... The Baklava Bailout is finally here (BusinessWeek). That's the slowest cooking Baklava, ever.
• Germany's share is $30B (Associated Press). And Angela Merkel can say goodbye now.
• Apple iPad 3G estimated to have sold 300K on launch weekend (Apple Insider). AT&T engineers trying to figure out what to do now.
• Is an anti-trust investigation at hand for Apple's app world? (New York Post). Steve Jobs' squeaky clean, integrated world may be just a little too integrated.
• Roger Ebert hates 3D (Newsweek). Funny, given that he's not exactly 2D.
• Is IronMan 2 about Bill Gates and Steve Jobs? (TechCrunch) If so, I'm glad they went with an allegory, instead of real life.
• A detailed analysis of Groupon (TechCrunch).

For those of you who have had your eye on the ball, unable to track the "financial crisis du jour" around the world, we appear to be finally reaching some sort of closure of the Ouzo Crisis, otherwise known as:  "Who's gonna bail out the Greeks?" This is the Baklava Bailout we've been waiting for for months. The Germans finally appear to be softening their stance, willing to toss a few Deutsche marks -- er, I mean, Euros -- in the pot. It's important to watch this stuff, because winding our way through these debt crises is crucial to recovery in the world economy. It's like a version of economic dodge-ball: It's possible we'll have rolling debt crises over the next few years, and we need to work our way through them and hopefully avoid a debt crisis in the Big Kahuna -- the U.S. of A.  Because you know, after everybody else is bailed out, it's not likely there will be anybody left to bail America out. Anyway, on that positive note, let's move on to da news:

• When there's a Euro crisis, you need to brush up than Ambrose Evan- Pritchard (Telegraph).
• Google's China plan gets complicated (Wall Street Journal). You would think "not being evil" would be pretty simple: Censorship or no censorship. Not when billions of dollars and the Chinese market is involved.
• Unemployment claims dropped for the third time in four weeks (MarketWatch). They're at 442,000. Watch the number 400,000. I've heard that's where we need to get to actually create employment .
• Banks still need free money, says Bernanke (Wall Street Journal). Even though they're doing nothing but hoarding it and creating exotic carry trades. Meanwhile, rumor has it Ben has the helicopters idling on the tarmac with the crates of cash lined up.
• Best Buy profits rise 37% (Wall Street Journal). Recession be damned, we need our gadgets!!
• Qualcomm raises forecast, helps spark tech rally (MarketWatch).
• Engadget has an entertaining piece on the WSJ on the iPad, where they say the WSJ says it will charge $17.95 a month. (Engadget). Interesting. Did I tell you they offered me the print version for $10 per month (shhhhh.).
• Google's working on ads that learn how to follow you. Kind of creepy, I don't like the idea of being followed by an Ad.