Well, who doesn't like to say, "I told ya so?" I certainly do, which is why I'm pointing out that Intel has settled (again) with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), promising to stop using bundled pricing to keep down the competition. On June 24 we pointed out that a variety of sources were expecting a settlement soon, with a minor wrist slap for Intel.

It has turned into a complete non-event. Investors today reacted with a yawn, as Intel shares in afternoon trading were exactly flat, at $20.71. 

In other news:

• BP says it has the oil spill solved (Washington Post). Really. No, this time, you should believe them.
• Apple rumor mills are already cranking up for the fall, with speculation over the iPhone 5 and iPad mini (CNET). Also coming: iPad Double-mini, iPhoneMiniPad, the iPodPad, the iToilet, and the iToldYaSo.
• Why the UAE is done with the Blackberry (WSJ).
• ISM service index expanded in July (Bloomberg). Apparently, there was a surge in sales of Big Macs.
• Billionaires like Bill Gates and Larry Ellison are pledging more money to charity (WSJ).
• Time Warner revenues and earnings increased (TheStreet.com). Just in case it sounds foreign, let's repeat that: Time Warner revenues and earnings increased!
• ADP sees slight uptick in jobs (Forbes). Apparently that Big Mac surge forced McDonalds to hire.
• Priceline and Electronic Arts helped boost tech stocks (MarketWatch).
• Toyota's back with $2.2B in profit (Detroit Free Press). I don't know why I used the DFP link. Mildly sadistic, I guess.
• Senators are taking for-profit education to the woodshed (Reuters). Fifteen schools investigated.

The bandwagon story of the day is Google looking into creating a "Facebook competitor" by talking with popular online gaming companies (Wall Street Journal). That's funny, I thought Facebook was a social networking site and not a gaming company. Shows you what I know.

That's also not to mention that Google has already tried to "do" social networking, but looks to be failing miserably with Buzz.

The spin in the Wall Street Journal is that by talking to social gaming companies like Zynga, Google is contemplating creating an alternative to Facebook, where many of the social gaming companies are growing like weeds (e.g. "Scott has acquired a semi-automatic weapon to blow you away in Mafia Wars!").

I read somewhere recently that watching the market these days is like watching a squirrel trying to cross the street. It zigs, it zags, you're not sure if it will make it to the forest or get flattened by a bus. Couldn't think of a better metaphor.

How else to explain a market that gives up 8% one month and gains it all back another, only to sell off when consumer confidence numbers are announced? And by the way, how do you explain the fact that the market is at highs while consumer confidence is at a five-month low? The answer: We are all squirrels, zigging and zagging randomly across a economically screwed up landscape, trying to find our way.

If there's any good news to be had, it's that the cost of debt is approaching an all-time low. Greeaaaattttt!!! Go borrow some money (if anybody will lend it to you). Yes, today, the 30-year mortgage yield hit all-time lows. Can you figure it out? I can't.

Onto more of the news:

• DuPont profits top estimates, raises guidance (Bloomberg). Well, at least we're still selling tons of chemicals.
• So, we're now back to zero (Bloomberg). Is that really something to get excited about?
• Apple has a new "27-inch Cinema Display." (Apple) Translation: Apple is selling TVs.
• Yes, ComScore is cooking Yahoo's numbers (TechCrunch). And Yahoo is pissed.
• BP CEO Tony Hayward -- one of the most popular people in the Gulf States -- is being banished to Sibera (AP).
• Among Hayward's parting words, before he heads of to a Siberia oil-executive slave camp (we wish): BP was 'a model of social corporate responsibility' (The Guardian). Can somebody, uh, shut this guy up?
• Funnest headline of the day: Blagojevich lawyer may be muzzled (Chicago Tribune). Why stop with the lawyer?
• Fannie and Freddie conference to convene (MarketWatch). Lawmakers said to start with a game of "pin the losses on the asshole."
• Home prices show stability after modest gain (CNNMoney). All five people who still have equity in their homes said to be ecstatic.

Just when you thought Goldman was a rigged, unstoppable money-printing machine, the bank's profits fell 86% in the first quarter of 2010, missing estimates badly, as it settles with the U.S. government for a half-a-billion-dollar fine.

Did you really think Goldman was that good? Or did you think they were just a bunch of proprietary traders playing with free government money. It would be interesting to see what Goldman's profits would be if they had to borrow at 4% like the rest of us, instead of the 0% gift from the U.S.A.

In other news:

• Here's an update on the oil spill (AP). Now there's seeping. When will it end?
• Five things to watch on Appl's earnings (Macworld). Will you be able to hear Steve Jobs on the conference call or will you get disconnected?
• Home construction sinks again (AP). Shocking, isn't it?
• Nokia-Siemens has won a $7B contract with the LightSquared venture (Reuters). That's a lot of bandwidth.
• Great story: Social networking sites are as annoying as cable companies (TechCrunch). That's pretty annoying.
• Amazon says its selling more e-books than hardcovers (Wall Street Journal).
• Top 30 Android apps for 2010 (PCMag).
• The mysterious Facebook claimant has a few questions to answer (Bloomberg). My question: Who the heck are you?

Funny how fortunes swing. Just a few weeks ago, BP was racing quickly to the bottom as Apple was contemplating world domination. This week, their fortunes have reversed -- if only a bit -- as Apple confronts antenna engineering problems and BP's shares are on the rebound on the promise of an oil cap and/or takeover.

Apple shares were down 3.73 (1.45%) to $249 and BP shares rose .84 (2.3%) to $37.02 in midday trading. Apple will be holding a press conference on Friday, as its antenna problems on the iPhone 4 appear to be expanding.

Read on, for the full news:

• An Apple engineer alerted CEO Steve Jobs to the presence of an antenna problem, reports Bloomberg.
• U.S. Sen. Schumer has written a letter to Steve Jobs about the iPhone 4 problems (AppleInsider). Dear Steve, my phone's not working. Can you fix it for a tax break?
• The antenna problems don't seem to be stopping Apple's rollout of new products -- an 11.6-inch MacBook and new iPod Touch are on the way (DigiTimes).
• Here's some fun: A writer says the Droid X self-destructs if you try to modify it (MobileCrunch).
• If the Droid X is a big success, Verizon may not need the iPhone, says the New York Times. Somehow we doubt that.
• The Pentagon is running out of funds (Reuters). Soon to be downgraded to a Triangle.
• Manufacturing data bad = stocks down (Bloomberg). One question I've always had: If the stock market is "forward looking" and "discounting," why can it react so violently to news?
• Billionaire Carlos Slim is digging for gold in Mexico (Bloomberg). Funny how even Billionaires want to find more money, isn't it? I mean, I'd hit the beach after the first $2B.
• BP says it's repaired the cap on the well and a test is proceeding (New York Times). We can only hope this doesn't end in another disappointment.
• I've seen lots of folks distributing the "Methane Bubble Doomsday" story on the social networks. Other journalists appear to be debunking it. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet, folks!
• Thierry Henry has retired from International football (WSJ). All washed up, at 32 years old, apparently. Hello MLS!
• I just don't know what to think of this headline. What do you think? Woman With World's Largest Breasts Fights For Life.
• 2.5 million muslims are threatening to quit Facebook (tnerd).

I hope all the Yanks -- and anybody else celebrating -- had a happy July 4th. Yesterday we hosted two riders from the Texas 4000 who were doing a lot more than I will do this month -- riding 4,000 miles from Texas to Alaska to help fight cancer. Kudos to Joel and Shilen and good luck! You can track our friends on the "Rocky Route" here.

In the news, ironically the July 4th festivities were marred by financial pyrotechnics rather than the celebratory kind, as the papers jumped on the fiscally depleted state of the nation -- and the world:

• Illinois is drowning in red ink (New York Times). Depressing story. And you thought California was bad?
• Huge pension problems in Illinois were not helped by the fact that they turned to the OTC derivatives casino to make back their lost money (Medill).
• Bank meltdowns continue (Fed.gov). Yikes!
• The recession has now killed of 7.9 million jobs in America (CNNMoney). Hey, I hate to be a downer, but it's reality, bro!
• Hey, not everything's bad! Markets are stable today (Associated Press). Maybe we should just keep the U.S. markets closed. 
• The BP tab is now over $3B (USA Today). That's if you can actually put a price on the total environmental and economic destruction.
• The first test of the "superskimmer" are inconclusive (Reuters). Let's all hope it works.
• All about Google's $700 million purchase of ITA (TechCrunch). Vertical search is the new deal.
• Apple is sucking wonton in China, says Lenovo chief (Financial Times). Hmm. Big competitor trash talks big competitor, says "C'mon over." Why, exactly.
• The Kin was the mother of all consumer toy flops, says the New York Times. File under Microsoft's epic flops along with "Bob."

Nothing to get a bunch of slathering sycophantic tech journos rolling like a new iPhone upgrade. This morning's news focuses on the rollout of the new iPhone and related upgrade and connectivity issues.

Excuse the brevity, but this morning we were delayed this morning by the important professional business of watching the U.S. World Cup victory over Algeria! Here are the links:

• Walt Mossberg: iPhone is "Top of Class." (Wall Street Journal)
• Engadget: iPhone 4 is the best smartphone on the market.
• If you are shopping for all things Apple, the iPhone 4 is slower than an iPad, says MacRumors.com.
• In non-Apple news, how many people would like to be a fly on the wall for the Obama/McChrystal meeting? (Bloomberg). I would!
• Sales of new homes plunge to lowest level on record (Bloomberg). But seriously, would you expect anything else? The country is awash in empty, new houses.
• Unemployed people are frittering away their free time (Wall Street Journal). This comes from a government study. Better question: is the government studying unemployed people a good use of government-employed people?
• The Fed is likely to do nothing (Wall Street Journal). Possibly for another 10 years.
• Uh-oh. BP's taken the cap off (BusinessWeek). What will they screw up next?
• Scammers were all over the U.S. homebuyer credit, says a watchdog (Reuters).
• Adobe was down on earnings of 28 cents per share, up from 24 cents last year (MarketWatch).
• Facebook CEO says: We're really gigantic (Guardian).
• New meaning to the word, "GOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" (USA Today).

Can AT&T stop messing up? In this morning news, Gawker appears to have broken the scoop that 114,000 iPads have been victim of a security breach exposing email and iPad IDs.

The security breach has "exposed the most exclusive email list on the planet, a collection of early-adopter iPad 3G subscribers that includes thousands of A-listers in finance, politics and media, from New York Times Co. CEO Janet Robinson to Diane Sawyer of ABC News to film mogul Harvey Weinstein to Mayor Michael Bloomberg," writes Gawker.

AT&T confirmed the story this morning (Wall Street Journal). Just another black eye for AT&T, which is still trying to work out connection issues with the iPhone.

In other news:

• Why just focus on bad news from AT&T? They're rolling out 3D coverage of the World Cup with ESPN (Businessweek).
• AllThingsD reports that a Wall Street analyst says T-Mobile will be the next carrier to get the iPhone. InformationWeek's Eric Zeman says that's completely wrong.
• BP tries to reassure investors (New York Times). No, really, we're not a disaster! We know what we're doing! Really!
• Meanwhile, BP's bonds are starting to look like junk (Zero Hedge)
• Global markets rally (Bloomberg). Well, you can't go in the same direction all the time. That wouldn't be very interesting.
• Six strange iPad accessories (Newsweek).
• The HTC EVO is seriously flawed, says TechCrunch.
• Far out news of the day: Is the Obama administration looking at a plan to scrap social security? (Washington Post)

You know what's fun? When the president threatens to kick some ass.

President Obama's highly visible comments on national TV are garnering many video and Google searches worldwide, as everybody pitches in on exactly how Obama can kick some ass down there in the Gulf of Mexico, where BP has turned an entire ocean into a toxic waste dump.

One version of the ass-kicking threat can be seen below:

Now, can Obama actually kick somebody's ass? Debatable. But certainly this is a historic moment for the president. When we reached deep into our archives (i.e., many Google searches), though, we did find evidence of other presidents kicking ass. For example, George H.W. Bush (Bush I), said he kicked some ass in a vice presidential debate.

Am I the only one perplexed by this Mark Zuckerberg fiasco? I mean, yes, the guy is the founder and CEO of Facebook. But he's mucking things so badly it's probably time for him to get kicked upstairs.

The headlines are blaring this morning about Zuckerberg's disastrous appearance at the Wall Street Journal D8 conference, in which apparently he was sweating like Albert Brooks playing the news anchor in the movie Broadcast News.

Here's a roundup of what's going on with Sweaty Zuck, and other news:

• Liveblog of Kara Swisher and Walt Mossberg interviewing Zuckerberg onstage at D8. Best quote: "When I was in college I did a lot of stupid things." Amen, brother!
• MarketWatch comments on Zuck's "Richard Nixon" moment. Please note the tie-in above to Broadcast News, in which the TV producer comments, "He's sweating more than Richard Nixon!"
• Facebook continues to face heat over privacy. As much heat as a Finnish sauna, apparently.
• Top 5 Facebook privacy settings you need to know (HuffPost). Plus, I really hope you don't have anything truly personal in there. 
• BP's turned to the "Giant Shears" (Guardian). Seriously, could a multinational corporation appear any more incompetent?
• Gulf oil could spread to Atlantic Coast (Wired).
• Israeli Parliament members come close to blows over flotilla debate (LA Times)
• And they killed a U.S. Citizen (The Atlantic). Oops. How's that for improving relations?
• Whirlpool recalls 1.7 million dishwashers (Reuters). Apparently they have the ability to whirl flames.
• Stocks give up most gains (CNN). Is that from yesterday, or from 10 years ago?
• Neilsen files for $1.75 billiion IPO (Reuters). Better hurry.
• Hoenig says Fed should raise rates (Reuters). Now that would make things interesting!